Forrest Tobey's Songs

Forrest wrote a lot of songs in the 70s and 80s, most of which were recorded by the Bellingham, Washington-based band "The Chanterelles." For those songs, go to the Chanterelles Archive, linked here in the left column.

This page will serve as a demo page for both the older songs not recorded by the Chanterelles and especially for new songs that have been written in the last little while, and in the time to come.

1. Retreat Songs (2009)

In June and July of 2009, I took some retreat time, taking three weeks alone at home for twice-daily Tibetan Buddhist meditation and yoga. This retreat also turned into a song-writing workshop, and 10 new songs arose, all of which speak directly or indirectly about seeking for "mahamudra," or the great Mind that lies behind our individual self-grasping minds. They are a rather personal journal of one three-week journey along the endless path to self-realization.

These songs are placed here in gratititude for the life and teachings of Garchen Rinpoche, who knows the mind of mahamudra and waits patiently for his students to find their way, inspiring them with his love and compassion.

In 2010, I hope to record these more seriously, but I thought I would put up some demos for now.

The multitrack player will play the songs. Short background info on the songs are below.

All of the songs, music and lyrics, in this flash player are:
Copyright 2009, Mirabaimusic.

(Lyrics Page)

1. Dangling from a Thread

The first song written on the retreat. Clearly, it comes from yoga practice, and its simple, two-chord repetition seeks to bring the mind and body into a state of yogic centeredness. It's my deeper self inviting my neurotic self to relax, withdraw and find the silent power within.

2. Your Mind from the Start is Free

In the 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva, there is a verse that goes: "Whatever appears is your own mind. Your mind from the start was free from fabricated extremes. Understanding this, do not take to mind inherent signs of subject and object. This is the practice of a Bodhisattva." I kept pondering the meaning of this profound verse, and my lack of understanding found its way into this lyric. I am simply observing what I see out of my front porch (it's imaginary), trying to grasp how all of this is both a projection of and the nature of mind.

3. Spinning

This is kind of in the style of a Dylan talking blues, except musically it has nothing in common, since it's in 7/8, is in the Phrygian mode and keeps modulating by fifths every second verse! The lyrics came from pondering the line from Yeats from his poem "The Second Coming" and disagreeing with him that it's such a bad thing that the falcon escapes from the falconer. Seems like it's better if we let things get a little chaotic, as that is the flux of things beneath the surface level of our need to control. It's mainly spoken, and sometimes spontaneously sung.

4. Standing on the Edge

This is the most obscure song of the set. It began by thinking about the Terry Pratchet novels, where you can go do Discworld and actually stand at the edge of the flat planet and watch the oceans fall off into space. This world is, naturally, standing on top of a great turtle, although I don't get into that. It instead became a metaphor for going beyond our everyday perceptions of things. The melody was a little hard for me to sing.

5. There is nothing wrong with you.

The title is from a Zen book of the same name by Cheri Huber. Early on, she lists all these internal, self-critical dialogues that tend to drive us insane. I just took the idea, started an Apple loop, played some blues changes and here's the song.

6. Finding the Peace

The most personal song of the set, as it is about my long relationship with Lynnell, including meeting in Bellingham and "tripping beneath the rainbows," the great times in India, the hard times when we split up, and the peaceful times of our reunion and our current life together. I hope that it could be something like what Joni says about her songs, that if you write about your own life's journey and it's honest, there may be something universal in that experience that makes it connect to others. Musically, I like this little ballad-like tune because each short verse starts in C major but ends somehow in Bb major in just a few short moments, yet it sounds natural. The bi-tonality represents the two intersecting lives, and the C major/Bb major chords sound together at the end. harmoniously yet still individualized.

7. Time Was

This is my "Sondheim" song and I imagine Mandy Pantankin singing it! It is part of the retreat experience in that I was pondering the vast potential of our human existence, which is ultimately to become fully enlightened beings, suffused with kindness and compassion, and how we tend to settle for less than our full potential. It is also a reflection on my counter-culture generation, and how once we tried to stop a war and save the world, and now we seem settled into a more complacent and compromised existence. It's a wistful call to snap out of it!

8. Wired

This is a sketch of a song to be finished later. It's in 5/4, for those keeping score and will become fairly rhythmically and harmonically elaborate.

9. Both Kinds

Written near the end of the retreat, it looks back, wondering if it's fair to take time out to simply 'be' with one's mind while "outside the gate" the world is suffering and in such need of compassionate action. It doesn't answer the question, only poses it.

10. I became a memory

This is actually a very early song, one of my first, written in Boulder in 1977 when I was first starting my explorations of Buddhist thought and practice. But its lyrics, for all its 22-year old naivete, still seem relevant to my current life. The first verse speaks of letting go of clinging to one's youth, the second of letting go of a loving relationship, and the last of letting go of self. There's an old 3-part folk version of this on the Chanterelles page. This is a newer, mellower version of an old friend.

2. Older Songs

1. Swim to the Light

This song was written in Alexandria, Virginia in December, 1995 while my father was lying on his deathbed. Coming completely from Tibetan Buddhist philosophy, it invites him to "Swim to the LIght" as he enters the Bardo, knowing as I somehow knew at the time that he would enter into his next life, again as the healer he was in this one. It's a song about "letting go when it's your turn to go." This recording was quickly produced at the request of someone I'd only met once, but remembered this song and wanted a recording of it to be played at his wife's memorial service. I was happy it held meaning of him.

2. The Sun Shines Forever

Another old song, from 1978, that still seems relevant today. It's a song in support of solar energy. Written in the midst of the Carter Administration, it lives on in the hope we have for Obama's pledge for increasing support for renewable energy. "And the sun shines forever with undying grace, we could slow down our lives and gain a new sense of place, by using it wisely without any waste, feeling whole again, feeling holy again..."

3. Two

This is a duet between myself and Paul Susan on violin. sometime in the mid-80s at Western Washintgon University in Bellingham. It was one of my first break-outs as a piano player, a bit of freedom from within the cage. I still enjoy this little moment. I don't know where Paul is know. Anyone out there know Paul Susan?

Back to Retreat Songs